woman listening to another woman

The Adoption vs Abortion Debate

As a woman facing an unplanned pregnancy, you have a decision to make.

This isn’t the birth father’s decision. This isn’t your parents’ decision. This isn’t an adoption agency’s decision. This isn’t an anti-adoption blogger’s decision. This isn’t an adoption website’s decision.

This is YOUR decision.

You are old enough, smart enough and responsible enough to see through everyone’s agendas: The birth father may be pushing you to pursue abortion instead of adoption because it is easier on him. Your parents may be trying to get you to raise your child, yet they won’t promise to help you out. You may read an anti-adoption blog telling you about the evils of adoption after their own adoption experiences. And you may read an adoption agency’s website telling you the benefits of choosing adoption over abortion because they have adoptive couples waiting to become parents.

You may feel like everyone is pulling you and your baby in different directions, trying to tell you what the right thing is to do. But do you want to know the real truth, and the ONLY truth? Every woman, and every woman’s situation, is different.

This isn’t a “one-size-fits-all” decision that can be explained on a web page, whether it is pro-adoption or anti-adoption, pro-choice or pro-life. Nor does anyone except for you know your own motivations, your feelings on abortion, your feelings on someone else raising your baby, or your readiness to be a mother.

However, as a pro-adoption website, what we can do is tell you why other women have chosen adoption. This is our role in your decision-making process – to best equip you with what you need to know about adoption. What you decide from there is entirely up to you.

And if you do want to consider adoption over abortion and investigate it further by contacting an adoption agency, understand a few things:

  1. Adoption Agencies are Pro-Adoption – When you contact an adoption agency, they are going to be biased toward adoption. There are many reasons for this, and yes some of those reasons are financial. However, a majority of those reasons is because they believe (like we do) that every child should have a chance at living and every adult should have a chance of becoming a parent.
  2. No Commitment by Calling – If you want to learn more about adoption before you make a decision, feel free to contact an adoption agency to learn more information and ask questions. Your phone call and information is 100-percent confidential, and calling an adoption agency in no way commits you to an adoption plan.
  3. No Reputable Adoption Agency is Pushy – If you do contact a local or national adoption agency and they are trying to talk you into choosing adoption during your initial conversation, move on. There are lots of adoption agencies and attorneys who will provide information and answer your questions without trying to get you to do something you aren’t ready to do. If an agency doesn’t seem to have your best interest in mind, hang up the phone and find one who does.
  4. Most Adoption Professionals Have Good Intentions – And finally, while some people on the Internet want women like you to believe that all adoption agencies, attorneys and social workers are money-grubbing people whose sole focus is to “steal” your baby, that couldn’t be further from the truth. In reality, most of them are true professionals who’ve dedicated their lives to helping women like you and assisting families who cannot get pregnant. To accuse all adoption professionals as part of an elaborate conspiracy, or as greedy businessmen and businesswomen, is simply untrue.

The intention of this article isn’t to tell you about the different types of abortion, the morality behind choosing abortion or what the Bible says about abortion. This article’s only purpose is to let you know that you do have another option – and whether that other option is or isn’t better than abortion is up to you.

Finally, it should be noted that women choose abortion much more often than they choose adoption. According to Planned Parenthood abortion figures, the ratio is a staggering 149:1.

This number leads to the obvious question, “Why?” Why do so many women facing an unplanned pregnancy choose abortion over adoption? Is it because it is “easier?” Is it because they feel like it is a quick fix to a big problem? Is it because they can’t imagine the thought of their child living with someone else?

Whatever the reason, it is a surprising number. We believe that there has to be a large portion of these women who find out about their pregnancies and instantly think abortion is the easier solution, or even the only solution. We believe if more women understood adoption and all of its benefits, that ratio wouldn’t be as lopsided as it currently is.

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There are a number of anti-adoption websites that conveniently forget to mention the countless number of women who are glad they chose adoption over abortion. These women do exist, and today they are leading fulfilling, successful lives. No website or blog can say otherwise, as hard as they might try.

Many of these women remain in contact with the adoptive family and their child, either through pictures and emails and some even through periodic visits. None of this would be possible had they chosen abortion.

So once again, this article isn’t intended to say abortion is bad and adoption is good. This article is intended to bring at least some awareness to women out there who think abortion is their “only way out.” Adoption, while not an easy path to take either, can be as fulfilling as a woman wants it to be.