Fathers that “give children up” for adoption are:

• Doing something brave
• Creating a bright future for their child
• Supporting the mother of the baby

This may conflict with some stereotype you have held about men and adoption. Wouldn’t a “real man” keep his baby? How could fathers that “give children up” for adoption be brave?

The truth about fathers and adoption is probably different from what you’ve heard, and this guide is going to set the record straight.

Can a father put a child up for adoption? In most situations, yes, he can. He can support the mother of the baby during the adoption process. By doing so, he’s creating a better future for the mother, the baby and himself.

Here’s how.

It’s Not “Giving Up”

You may have noticed that we’ve put “giving up” in quotes whenever we use it. There’s a reason for that, and it might change the way you think about fathers that “give children up” for adoption.

“Giving a baby up” is the most common way to talk about adoption. But, there’s a false stereotype ingrained into the phrase. Adoption isn’t “giving up” at all.

When a father puts a child up for adoption, he doesn’t give up. He’s not weak, or scared, or taking the easy way out. Fathers that “give children up” for adoption are, in reality, brave, loving and courageous. They’re doing the hard thing because it’s what’s best for the baby.

You may have an idea that choosing adoption isn’t what a “real man” would do. That idea comes from bad stereotypes about men and adoption. If you are the father of a baby, you can choose adoption without “giving up.”

Supporting the Mother in Adoption

The most important role when a father puts a child up for adoption is supporting the mother of the baby. While you are intimately involved in this situation as well, it is her body. She’s experiencing this unwanted pregnancy in a way that you can’t. Adoption is an opportunity to support her.

The adoption process (more details on that below) can be challenging. It involves high-pressure decision that will play a big part in shaping the course of your child’s life. When you’re the father of the baby, you can help the mother make these choices, working together to come to the best conclusion.

You can also do the simple things to make pregnancy easier — handling meals, errands and other tasks that will become more challenging as the pregnancy progresses.

Can the Father Put a Baby Up for Adoption Without Permission of the Mother?

What if you feel that adoption is the best choice, but the mother does not? Can a father put a baby up for adoption even if the mother says no?

In most cases, no. The mother of the baby must be on board with the adoption plan. Her consent to the adoption is needed in order to go through the adoption process.

There may be rare instances where a court finds that the mother has acted in such a way that her parental rights should be terminated. In these circumstances, it could be possible for a father to put a child up for adoption without the mother’s consent.

If you feel that you are in a situation like this, then you should contact an adoption attorney.

How Adoption Works

Most of the time, a mother and father put a child up for adoption together. When this happens, they can both play a part in the process, making decisions together and supporting each other when things get tough.

If you’re like most fathers considering adoption, then this is probably the first time you’ve really thought about the process. How does adoption work? Understanding that might help you have a sense of peace about choosing adoption.

Every adoption is unique, but they all follow these steps:

• Step 1: Choose an adoption agency
• Step 2: Create an adoption plan
• Step 3: Choose an adoptive family
• Step 4: Prepare for placement
• Step 5: Complete placement
• Step 6: Post-placement contact

When you’re a father that “gives a child up” for adoption, you can be involved in every step, but especially steps 1, 2, 3 and 6.

In step one, you can help research possible adoption agencies and find that one that will serve you best. This is a big choice. There’s a lot of information out there, and you can take it on yourself to play your part in finding the right agency.

For step two, the father can offer support, encouragement and his opinion. Since the mother is the one carrying the baby, she gets to take the lead on the adoption plan. Still, fathers that put a child up for adoption can play a part in shaping the process.

Step three is arguably the most important part of the whole process. When fathers put a child up for adoption, they can work with the mother to choose the adoptive family. This choice will alter the course of your child’s life. You can choose the family that, together with the mother, you think will provide your child with a wonderful life.

Step six involves open adoption communication. Since most adoptions today are at least semi-open, you’ll have the opportunity to stay connected with your child, even after placement.

Learn More

Can a father put a child up for adoption?

Yes. As you can see, a father can play an important role in the adoption process, and there’s nothing about adoption that is “giving up.” If you’d like to learn more about adoption, please contact us today to be connected with an agency.