Unplanned pregnancies happen in marriage all the time, but that doesn’t make this surprise any easier. You may feel pressure to be excited about pregnancy because you are married, but the truth is that many happily married couples are not ready to be parents.

Can married women “give their baby up” for adoption? Yes, they can. In fact, a married couple placing a child for adoption is very common.

This is surprising to many, and that’s why we’ve created this guide to unplanned pregnancy and marriage. We’re going to talk about:

• Your unplanned pregnancy options
• How “giving a baby up” for adoption while married works
• Who can help you start your adoption process

Let’s get started.

The Reality of Unplanned Pregnancy and Marriage

More than two million American women experience unplanned pregnancy every year, many of whom are married. While our long-standing cultural ideals of marriage may make you think that all of these women are happily surprised, that is far from the truth.

Unplanned pregnancy in marriage can be just as hard an unwanted pregnancy in any other situation. You may have grown up with the idea that the only possible response to an unplanned pregnancy in marriage is to become a parent, but that’s not actually true.

Your Unplanned Pregnancy Options

What if we are married and pregnant and don’t want to be?

You have options for unplanned pregnancy and marriage. Take your time to consider how each could shape your future, and discuss things with your spouse openly and honestly.

Emotions may flare during these discussions. While that’s totally understandable, it’s not particularly helpful. Try to remember:

You’re on the same team. Which option you go with for responding to an unplanned pregnancy in marriage, it’s going to be better if you’re in it together.

Only you know what’s best for your life. Try, as much as you can, to ignore societal pressures about what you “should” doing with your pregnancy. There’s no “should” here. There’s only what is best for you.

The best plan is an early plan. This conversation can be hard, but it’s only going to get harder the longer you leave things unsaid. Get a head start and decide early in your pregnancy what to do.

Your options are:

Parenting: Even when it seems hard, parenting is an option to consider. We list it first because once you’ve ruled out parenting, that choice is final. So, it’s important to be very sure. If you know that you are married and pregnant and don’t want to be parents, then you have a couple options.

Abortion: Married women across American often turn to abortion in response to an unplanned pregnancy. This medical procedure brings an end to pregnancy through the removal of pregnancy tissue or, if further along, removal of the fetus. Depending on where you live, it may be more difficult to access abortion services.

Adoption: If abortion is either unavailable or doesn’t feel right for you, then you could consider adoption. This unplanned pregnancy option has many benefits, like the ability to create the future you want while also giving your child the opportunity to grow up in a loving family.

Putting a Child Up for Adoption when Married

For those who are married but want to “give baby up” for adoption, it may be helpful to understand a bit more about how the process works. As you’ll see, the process itself has several benefits for prospective birth parents.

While every adoption journey is unique, each process will follow these big steps:

1. Find an adoption agency
2. Create an adoption plan
3. Choose an adoptive family
4. Prepare for placement
5. Complete placement
6. Communicate post-placement

“Giving your baby up” for adoption as a married couple can make pregnancy easier and remove the overwhelming cost of parenting, as well as freeing up your future to be whatever you want it to be.

When you are married and can’t provide for new baby, considering adoption is a way to make sure your baby’ needs are met and have your own needs met. Adoption financial assistance is usually available for pregnancy-related and some cost-of-living expenses during the process.

Additionally, choosing adoption for unplanned pregnancy in marriage means you’ll have each other during the process. Adoption can be challenging, and having a partner to lean on can make the process much better. It can bring you closer to each other as you do this brave, loving thing together.

Finding an Adoption Professional

“Giving a baby up” for adoption while married means working with an adoption agency. The agency is your best friend during the process, guiding you from step-to-step and making sure your adoption is completed successfully.

Additionally, agencies provide vital support, such as facilitating adoption financial assistance, helping you create a hospital plan for labor and delivery, and more.

If you are considering putting a child up for adoption when married, you may want to begin by contacting one of these national adoption agencies:

• American Adoptions
• Nighlitght Christian Adoptions
• Heart of Adoptions