Questions About Adoption

Can You Give a Child up if You Don’t Want Them?

3 FAQs from Pregnant Women

Giving your child up may be the toughest decision you can make. Whether you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy or experiencing doubts of parenting your child, you do have options.

Some pregnant women know immediately that adoption is right for them. Others may choose a different path. Whatever the reason may be for giving your child up, you are making a brave, selfless decision. So, do what is best for your circumstances.

For immediate assistance, you should call a 24-hour hotline, such as 1-800-ADOPTION. Or contact an adoption agency to receive more information about the necessary services and support today.

1. Can You Give a Child up if You Don’t Want Them?

Yes. Some parents consider giving their child up for adoption or to the state because the life-changing experience of parenting comes with many challenges and responsibilities. Or, circumstances arise that make it difficult for parents to care for their children.

It’s normal for parents to feel overwhelmed at certain times during their child’s life. This does not mean you are a bad parent. Good parents recognize what is best for their children.

2. Is Giving Your Child up to the State an Option?

In most states, you can’t voluntarily give your child up to the state. Giving your child up to the state is usually done on court orders. Generally, Child Protective Services takes a child into the foster care system after reports of abuse or neglect.

We understand that raising a child isn’t simple. It can be even more stressful if you don’t have spousal support or if you’re going through financial difficulties. Although voluntarily placing your child in the child welfare system isn’t necessarily possible, you do have other adoption options to consider.

Also, there are adoption hotlines and other resources available for you whenever you may need them. If you want to explore other options, such as adoption, then contact an adoption agency today for more information on how to get started.

3. What Are Some Alternatives to Giving a Child up to the State?

If you decide parenting is not the right option for you, then you don’t need to feel trapped. A few ways you can consider giving your child up are to a private adoption agency, with a temporary guardian or through respite foster care.

Each one of these options comes with pros and cons, so learning about all three of them should help you figure out which one could be best for you and your child.

Private Adoption

You can give your baby an amazing life when you choose adoption. By placing them with adoptive parents who have been longing for a child, you can ensure they grow up with a life of unconditional love and limitless opportunities.

If you are pregnant or parenting a newborn, infant or toddler, then you can rest easy knowing that adoption is always an option. When putting your child up for adoption, you’ll have the assistance of an adoption agency and adoption attorney that can:

If you choose open adoption, then you can maintain a lifelong bond with your child and their adoptive family.

“After choosing a family and exchanging emails with them, I knew that I had made the right choice,” Renee, a birth mother, said. “After meeting the adoptive couple, I was certain that my daughter will still be loved. The transition between me and the adoptive family has made me feel a lot better. I love my daughter, and I know that this decision was what was best for her.”

One of the greatest benefits of adoption is that you are in full control of your adoption process from start to finish. Unlike giving a child up to the state, you can:

Temporary Legal Guardianship

You may want to pursue parenthood at some point, but you can’t right now. If this describes your situation, then temporary legal guardianship could be the choice for you. This gives you the time to work out finances or finish your education before you’re ready to parent.

Instead of giving a child up to the state, you can create a legal agreement with a close friend or family member in which they’ll assume parental rights and responsibilities for a set period. This can last anywhere from a couple of weeks to six months. After, your child will return under your care and you can resume your role as a parent.

But, this option can be disruptive to your child. So, you should choose this option only if you feel confident that you’ll be ready to parent at the end of the guardianship.

Respite Foster Care

Although voluntarily giving your child up to the state isn’t an option, you can sometimes place them with the state through respite foster care.

This is like temporary legal guardianship, but you would be giving your child up with the state instead of a family member or friend. But, this is considerably shorter than temporary guardianship, as it usually lasts from an afternoon to a weekend. Also, this option isn’t free and isn’t available in most states.


We understand that you’re going through a difficult and emotional time in your life.

If you need immediate assistance, then you should call a 24-hour hotline, such as 1-800-ADOPTION, for free, useful advice. A birth parent specialist can give you the support you need when putting your child up for adoption.

Ready to get started? Contact an adoption agency now to get free information.

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