Adoption is a beautiful act of love, where you give your child the opportunity of a better future with a responsible family who is ready to give them that life.

But, sometimes, life circumstances change, and you may regret giving your baby up for adoption. In such cases, you should contact an adoption agency to receive the necessary guidance and resources to talk through your emotions.

Can You Get Your Baby Back after Adoption?

Once an adoption is finalized, you cannot reverse the decision. But, you can change your mind before the adoption revocation period is completed. Depending on the state you live in, this waiting period can range from 12 hours to several days after birth.

After this point, your consent to adoption is final and the child is legally the child of the adoptive family.

Other factors can play a part in your decision as a mother who wants to take your baby back after adoption, such as

• The type of adoption
• The age of the child
• The laws of the state in which the adoption took place

If you regret giving your baby up for adoption, then the best thing to do is seek out counseling. Your adoption agency can be a great resource, as can counselors who specialize in loss and grief. While regret is a hard feeling, it won’t necessarily last forever. Many birth mothers have felt regret at one point or another, but ultimately know they did the best thing for themselves and their child.

Did You Regret Giving Your Baby up for Adoption?

It’s likely you’ll have feelings of regret. Before revoking your consent, considering whether you’re truly making the best possible choice for yourself and your baby is crucial. Feelings of grief, loss and doubt are completely normal, especially following the placement.

Take it from Julia, a birth mother who placed her daughter, Julianna, for adoption. She often speaks to pregnant women considering adoption who contact her through her specialist, Brighid, offering advice and support as they try to figure out which path is right for them.

“Honestly, just sit down and think about the best interest of your child,” Julia said. “You’re going to contemplate the decision a hundred times, but, at the end of the day, you’re going to know what’s right for you and what’s right for your child.”

Women who regret giving their baby up for adoption typically miss their children. And, they haven’t given themselves the time to heal nor the focus, motivation and energy that it requires to heal. Healing isn’t easy.

The key to healing is having the desire to heal, the understanding that it will be necessary to live a happy and healthy life and then following through with the healing process.

Contact an adoption agency today, or, for immediate assistance, call a 24-hour hotline like 1-800-ADOPTION to receive more information about the emotions of adoption and how to cope.

What to Do If You Cannot Legally Reverse Your Decision?

If regaining your parental rights is not a legal option in your situation, then it can be a very difficult thing to hear. Coming to terms with the permanency of the placement will take time. Instead of dwelling on what could have been, focus on what’s next.

When you have feelings of regret giving your baby up for adoption, remember that:

• You chose adoption for a reason.
• You should seek support when you need it.
• Your child’s parents love, support and care for your child just as much as you do.
• You can still be a part of your child’s life through open adoption.
• You will heal from this, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

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