Having a child is a big responsibility. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed or unsure about it at times.

But, if you are feeling like you don’t want your child anymore or cannot support them, it may be helpful to talk to a trusted friend, family member or professional for support and guidance.

You may also want to consider exploring options such as parenting classes to help you develop the skills and resources needed to provide a nurturing environment for your child.

For immediate assistance, call a 24-hour hotline, such as 1-800-ADOPTION. Or contact an adoption agency to receive more information about cold mother syndrome signs and symptoms.

What Is Cold Mother Syndrome?

Cold mother syndrome describes a mother’s inability to bond emotionally with her child. These mothers are physically present to fulfill the financial and living needs of the child but cannot provide the essence of love, safety and sense of belonging.

This condition can have long-term psychological effects on the child, which can lead to a range of emotional and behavioral problems.

Cold mother syndrome isn’t a medical diagnosis but rather a concept that describes a specific pattern of maternal behavior. Some women develop this from childhood traumas. Other women become “emotionally cold mothers” after they receive exposure to motherhood either voluntarily or not.

A woman with cold mother syndrome may display a lack of necessary parental skills toward her child, such as:

• Emotional warmth
• Empathy
• Responsiveness

The reasons why a mother is emotionally distant from her child may vary, but the consequences for the child are the same. The mother may seem distant and uninvolved in the child’s life, leaving them feeling unloved and unsupported.

What Are the Cold Mother Syndrome Signs?

Some mothers may struggle with depression, anxiety or other mental health issues that affect their ability to bond with their children. It’s also possible for mothers to be emotionally distant or uninvolved because of other factors, such as work or family stress.

The following are other possible reasons why a woman may be experiencing cold mother syndrome:

• She has grieved for an extended period and developed emotional resistance.
• She wasn’t prepared or didn’t want to be a mother.
• She’s too busy with school or work.
• She has cared for an ill family member for many years.
• She is afraid to love and get hurt by her child.

These are the primary reasons that can make a woman an emotionally cold mother towards her children. The causes might differ from woman to woman and can be challenging to track down. But,

What Are Cold Mother Syndrome Symptoms and Effects on Children?

No matter the reason a woman may become an emotionally cold mother, the concept of cold mother syndrome can leave the same negative effect on every child. Children raised by an emotionally cold mother may exhibit a range of symptoms.

• Attachment issues: Infants who don’t receive adequate physical and emotional nurturing may struggle to form healthy attachments with their mothers. They may be clingy, avoidant or have difficulty trusting others.
• Behavioral problems: Children who don’t receive enough attention and love from their mothers may develop behavioral problems. These can include aggression, defiance and acting out in school or at home.
• Depression and anxiety: Children of an emotionally cold mother may struggle to express their emotions and feel misunderstood by others.
• Low self-esteem: Children of an emotionally cold mother may struggle with feelings of worthlessness and insecurity. They may feel unlovable and have low self-respect.
• Relationship difficulties: Children of an emotionally cold mother may struggle to form healthy relationships with others. They may find it challenging to trust others and could feel unworthy of love and attention.

If you suspect that you or someone you know is suffering from cold mother syndrome, then it’s essential to seek help from a mental health professional.

Therapy can help you develop more positive and supportive relationships with your children and can help children work through the emotional issues caused by cold mother syndrome.

Can an Emotionally Cold Mother Put Their Child up for Adoption?

Yes. You’ll first need to contact an adoption agency and talk with a birth parent specialist, who will provide you with all the information you need to start the adoption process. For an older child adoption, there will be extra documents you’ll need.

Before you can move forward with the process, you should provide: 

• A copy of your child’s birth certificate
• Your child’s medical records
• The father’s name on the birth certificate
• Any child support provided by the father
• Documentation of everywhere your child has lived

In general, your adoption journey will look like this:

• Step 1: Contact an adoption agency.
• Step 2: View waiting adoptive family profiles.
• Step 3: Choose the type of adoption.
• Step 4: Complete legal paperwork.
• Step 5: Complete the adoption placement.

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