When Can You “Give a Child Up” for Adoption?
How to Put an (Older) Child Up for Adoption
Putting an older child up for adoption, despite how difficult the thought might be, is possible. Reach out online today to get more information and find support.
You may be facing one of the hardest decisions of your life, but know that there is hope for you and your child.
If you want to know how to “give your child up” for adoption, we want you to understand everything that comes with a decision of this importance. Once you understand how it works, you may have a better idea of whether placing an older child for adoption is right for you.
What to Know About How to Place an Older Child Up for Adoption
If you feel that “giving a child up” for adoption is the best option for you and your child, it’s clear that you’re putting your child’s best interests at heart.
Although you’re currently unable to provide your child with the life you want for them, you’re still willing to make a brave and selfless sacrifice to ensure they get the best life possible.
As you’re thinking, “I want to give my child up for adoption,” it’s important to know that nothing about the choice you’re making is “giving up.” Placing a child up for adoption, especially an older child, is an emotional and difficult choice to make.
You’re not “giving up”; you’re choosing to put your child first and show them how loved they are.
There are a number of factors that make “giving a child up” for adoption more difficult, but you don’t need to be discouraged. Adoption is a way to give your child the best life possible, and knowing the benefits, challenges, and precautions that come with this choice ahead of time can make your decision a little easier to make.
Benefits of Putting an Older Child Up for Adoption
When you’re considering putting your kids up for adoption, there are several benefits that you should know about. Here are some things that can be helpful to know:
- You can get free, 24/7 counseling and educational resources to help you through this time.
- The adoption process is completely free for prospective birth mothers.
- You have full control over your adoption from start to finish.
- You get to choose your child’s adoptive family.
- You don’t have to say “Goodbye” to your child through open or semi-open adoption.
Challenges of “Giving Up an Older Child” for Adoption
However, there are some challenges you could experience by placing an older child for adoption. You should consider that:
- Many adoption professionals focus on domestic infant adoption and don’t place children who are older than 4 years old. However, if your older child is part of a sibling group, an adoption agency may be able to help you find an adoptive family that will adopt siblings.
- When putting a child up for adoption, it’s important to have information on the child’s medical history, their birth father’s involvement, which parent has had primary custody, and more. When you are creating your adoption plan, this information will be especially helpful to the adoptive family.
- Although the process of placing your child up for adoption may be fairly straightforward, remember that doing so can lead to a difficult and emotional transition for an older child than it would be if they were younger. This may require specialized education, training, and counseling to help your child adjust to this new time in their life.
- “Giving your child up” for adoption can also be a difficult transition for you. Even if parenting feels like the hardest thing in the world for you right now, you shouldn’t overlook the significant attachment you already have with your child at their age.
But, despite the certain challenges associated when placing an older child for adoption, it is still possible for you.
How to be Safe When Considering “Giving Up Your Child” for Adoption
It’s important to bear some safety precautions in mind as you work through how to “give your older child up” for adoption:
- Never search for adoptive families without the help of an adoption professional. When you work with a licensed adoption professional, you’re getting the assurance of completing a legal and ethical adoption. If you try to find an adoptive family without an adoption professional, it could be considered child trafficking and put your child and yourself in danger.
- You can have someone mediate your conversation with the birth father. If you have a complicated relationship with your baby’s birth father, there are adoption agencies that can inform him of your adoption plan for you.
- Don’t abandon your child. Child abandonment is punishable by law and unsafe for your child.
- Report any abuse done to your child or yourself. It’s always best to get in touch with emergency services immediately if your child’s safety or your own is at risk.
Alternatives to “Giving Your Older Child Up” for Adoption
Although adoption is always an option, and a wonderful one at that, you may find that “giving away a child” for adoption is more difficult than you can handle.
Unfortunately, many private adoption agencies don’t specialize in placing older children, and state-run foster care often doesn’t have the right resources.
If you find the process to “give a child up” for adoption to be too difficult for you, there are other options for you to consider:
- Temporary legal guardianship. This might be a better option if what you’re looking for is just some time to work through your situation so you can better raise your child. This option allows you to place your child with a guardian for a temporary time, and parents often choose family members or close friends for this role.
- Reach out to social services. There are several state-run programs that can help you in your difficult situation. They can help you find a job, get healthcare, find affordable housing, or other assistance you need.
- Look into independent adoption. You may find it difficult to find adoption agencies for parents placing older kids for adoption. In that situation, you could have better luck with an adoption attorney. Just make sure you contact a licensed child-placing adoption agency that can complete a home study so you can find a safe and loving adoptive family for your child.
- Take a break. It’s no joke that parenting can be overwhelming. Instead of “giving your kids up” for adoption, you may just need some time to yourself so you can clear your head and find focus. If you have a friend or family you trust, consider reaching out to them about taking care of your child for a day or so while you take time to reset.
Talk with an Adoption Specialist Today
This is, most certainly, a difficult time in your life. But, always remember that you, and you alone, are in control of the situation. If you believe placing your older child for adoption is best for him or her and you, know that there is always an adoptive family who will love and care for your child.
Never forget that your child will love you for the loving and brave decision you made to give them a better life. Contact us today to learn more about how to put your child up for adoption.
Ready to get started? Contact an adoption agency now to get free information.