pregnant woman looking at an adoptive family profile

Adoption Plan – You Are In Charge

Over the past few decades, adoption has changed for the better in many ways. But perhaps the greatest change of all is how pregnant mothers are in charge of nearly every aspect of their adoption process.

If you choose to pursue adoption with an adoption agency, your adoption social worker will help you develop what is referred to as an “adoption plan.”

The adoption plan is a blueprint for exactly how you envision the adoption before, during and after placement of your baby. To help you develop your adoption plan, your social worker will likely have you answer the following questions about each stage of the adoption:

Before Placement

Who are the ideal adoptive parents to raise your child?

  • Do they have children already or hoping to adopt their first?
  • Are they the same race as your child?
  • Do they live in your state or in another state?
  • Do they live in the city? The suburbs? The country? Along the coast?
  • What’s their neighborhood like?
  • What kinds of family traditions do they have?
  • Do they have pets?
  • Are they religious?
  • Do you want to talk to them over the phone?
  • Do you want to exchange emails with them?
  • Do you want to meet them in person?
  • Do you want the adoption agency to mediate your interactions?

During Placement

What is your ideal hospital experience?

  • Do you want to interact with the adoptive parents at the hospital?
  • Do you want the adoptive parents in your room during delivery?
  • Which members of your support system do you want with you at the hospital?
  • Is there anyone you do not want at the hospital?
  • Do you want to hold your baby?
  • How much time do you want to spend with your baby?
  • Do you want pictures with your baby?
  • Do you want pictures with your baby and the adoptive parents?
  • Will the baby sleep in your room or in the adoptive parents’ room?
  • Do you want to name your baby?
  • Do you want to leave the hospital with the adoptive family?
  • Do you want to legally consent to the adoption as soon as possible?

After Placement

What type of relationship do you want to have with the adoptive family?

  • Do you want to receive pictures of your child in the mail?
  • Do you want to exchange emails with them?
  • Do you want to talk to them over the phone?
  • Do you want visits with them?

Based on your answers and any other requests, your social worker will find adoptive families who most closely match your wishes and will provide you with their adoption profiles. From their, you may select a family, request to get to know one of them before committing to them, or ask to see more adoption profiles.

If, however, you are pursuing an independent adoption and looking for families on your own, you may still ask yourself these questions to help you determine your ideal adoption and adoptive family.

And finally, always remember this is not only your adoption plan, but this is also your adoption. Therefore, at any time, you may decide that adoption isn’t right for you. You are always in charge of nearly every aspect of the adoption.