Questions About Adoption
Do Parents Miss Children They Give up for Adoption?
Choosing adoption for your child may be the hardest decision you will make in your life. But, adoption comes from a place of love, and that makes you brave and selfless.
Connect with an adoption agency today to find the resources available to you to cope with giving up a child for adoption.
Do Parents Miss Children They Give up for Adoption?
Yes. Placing your baby up for adoption is an emotional journey. Having spent nine months with your child to then place them with another family can be a sensitive time. But, no matter how much it may hurt, or how many questions you have, healing is possible.
Sarah is a brave birth mother who chose adoption to give her baby a life full of love and opportunity. Although the decision was tough, she was still able to cope with giving up her child for adoption and continue with the process for the sake of the best life for her baby.
“From finding out I was pregnant to today, I have been confident I made the right decision with choosing adoption … and choosing the adoptive family I did,” Sarah said. “Adoption has changed my life because I have extended my family. A child that I knew I could not parent is now a forever part of my life, and she has an amazing mom and dad who I stay in great contact with.”
Will I See My Baby after Adoption?
When you start the adoption process, you will create an adoption plan that includes the level of openness you would like in your adoption. Then, your adoption professional will help you find adoptive parents who share your desired level of openness.
The choice to see your baby after adoption is completely up to you. You can continue to be a part of your child’s life even after you place them with the adoptive family. Generally speaking, there are three different post-adoption communication choices.
1. Open Adoption
Choosing open adoption makes staying in touch easy and straightforward, and it can help you cope with giving up your child for adoption.
Open adoption is a relationship between you and adoptive parents that will carry on far beyond finalization. In an open adoption, finalization is never “goodbye.” It’s simply “see you later.”
You can continue to communicate over the years through:
- Phone calls
- In-person visits
- Handwritten letters
- Whatever you’re comfortable with
Finding a reputable adoption agency is crucial in completing all these steps with one professional. Once you connect with an adoption agency, you’ll work with a trustworthy, experienced birth parent specialist that will help you:
- Make your adoption plan
- Find an amazing family
- Get the assistance you need
If you want to see your baby in person after placement, then an open adoption is the right way to go.
2. Semi-Open Adoption
Semi-open adoption is the most common type of post-placement communication, and is a good way to cope with giving up a child for adoption.
In a semi-open adoption, the way you talk with the adoptive family can range from occasional photo and letter updates to phone or video calls, to potentially in-person visits.
Generally, a semi-open adoption will allow you to share some identifying information. But, your adoption professional will protect your privacy and facilitate your communication with the hopeful adoptive family.
This level of openness allows you to see your child grow from afar. Knowing that your child is happy and healthy with their adoptive family can be a great way to cope with giving up a child for adoption.
3. Closed Adoption
Closed adoption is the least common type of adoption, but it is still possible.
In a closed adoption, you cannot have contact with your child or the family in the future. You will not share any identifying information with the adoptive parents, and there won’t be any contact post-placement.
But, going through an adoption is an emotional experience not only for you, but also for the adoptive family and, eventually, your child. If you want to know what happens to children who are adopted, then a closed adoption may not help you cope with giving up a child for adoption.
To get more information about what level of openness may be best for you, contact an adoption agency today.
How Does Adoption Affect the Parents?
- Sense of loss for their child
- Relief their baby lives with a loving family
- Guilt for “giving up” their child
- Hope for a better future
- Love for their child and adoptive family
How you cope with giving up a child for adoption will look different for every birth parent. But, experiencing complex emotions throughout the adoption process is normal.
Are There Resources to Help Me Cope with Giving up a Child for Adoption?
- Emotional Support When Pregnant
- Feelings to Expect after Placement
- How to Cope After “Giving Baby Up”
- Why I Don’t Regret My Adoption Decision
- Why It’s Important to Live for Yourself
How Can I Move forward after My Adoption Decision?
Adoption is a lifelong emotional journey. How you cope with giving up a child for adoption is ultimately up to you. But, you’re never alone. Adoption agencies offer free counseling during and after the adoption process. There are adoption specialists available to help.
Ready to get started? Contact an adoption agency now to get free information.