3 Steps for Coping with Adoption

Placing a child for adoption is a decision that takes strength and courage. But, this selfless choice can also create a feeling of grief and loss. You don’t have to go through it alone.

You’ll experience many emotions before, during and after choosing adoption for your baby. So, connect with an adoption agency today to get the professional support you need on how to cope with adoption.

How Do I Cope with Giving My Baby up for Adoption?

There is no universal answer or solution that will make it easier when coping with adoption. What it feels like to give a baby up for adoption will depend on your unique situation. But, there are three basic steps you can take now for coping with adoption.

Step 1: Acknowledge Your Feelings

There is no time limit for healing, so you can take as long as you need to process your feelings when coping with adoption.

All the emotions you feel are valid. Before you can truly begin the healing process, let yourself acknowledge these feelings as you move through the stages of grief after placing a child for adoption, such as:

• Loss
• Anger
• Fear
• Guilt
• Acceptance

No matter how you’re feeling about the adoption, you made the choice to give your child the opportunity of the best possible future filled with love. That makes you a hero.

Step 2: Reach Out to Someone You Trust

You may be going through the grieving process on your own time, but that doesn’t mean you have to do it all by yourself. There are many people in your life who are ready to listen to what you’re going through.

Also, your adoption specialist will have plenty of experience when it comes to helping someone who is coping with adoption. They can provide you the necessary resources for a healthy healing process.

You can connect with an adoption agency today to learn more about the resources and services available to you.

Also, you can learn from other birth parents that have already gone through the process and know how to cope with adoption.

The experience of placing a child for adoption is unique, and it can be a relief to talk with someone who has walked in your shoes. There are a number of birth parent support groups and forums that you can connect with today. Or, you can explore birth parents’ stories on social media. Also, your friends and family can be just the support you need when coping with adoption.

Step 3: Focus on Yourself and Maintain Openness [If You Choose]

As you learn to handle the emotions of giving up a baby for adoption, you might still bounce back and forth between grief and exhaustion and relief and confidence about your adoption decision. These are all perfectly normal emotions to experience.

“It was such a happy day but sad at the same time,” Donna, a birth mother, said. “I had given another couple the greatest gift imaginable and I wouldn’t be the one bringing him home. I am sure that I made the best decision possible for me and I wouldn’t change a thing. I am now pursuing my degree as a Clinical Laboratory Technician and raising my daughter the best that I can.”

If you can, then take time to focus on yourself. Whether you pursue a new hobby or degree, find something that makes you feel like an even better, stronger version of yourself.

Many people who have struggled coping with adoption find comfort in an open adoption. Knowing that your child is happy, loved and safe with the family you chose can ease some of the painful feelings you’re experiencing.

Knowing how your child is doing can help you feel confident that you’ve made the best choice for you and your baby.

“I love still being able to have that connection with Juniper,” Randi, a birth mother, said. “I get all jittery thinking about it because it’s going to blow my mind when she’s 5 and she starts talking, and I can actually talk to her and have a conversation with her.”

Choosing adoption doesn’t mean you’re giving up on a relationship with your child. You can build a relationship with them, if you choose. And, you can stay in contact through:

• Pictures
• Letters
• Phone calls
• Emails
• In-person visits

Are There Other Resource Articles for Coping with Adoption?

• Emotional Support When Pregnant
• Feelings to Expect After Placement
• How to Cope After “Giving Baby Up”
• Why I Don’t Regret My Adoption Decision
• Why It’s Important to Live for Yourself

How Can I Move Forward after My Adoption Decision?

Adoption is a lifelong emotional journey. How to cope with giving your baby up for adoption is ultimately up to you. But, you’re never alone. Adoption agencies offer free counseling during and after the adoption process. There are adoption specialists available to help.